I'll bet she douches with gravy.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
