ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize