I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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