Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
