somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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