Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize