I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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