I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
