I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
