Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
