I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
