quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
