she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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