They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
