just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
