it wasn't lemon gatorade
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
