I cockslap morals
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
