everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
