So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
