dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
