I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
