It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
