And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
