So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
