At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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