my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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