Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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