She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
