ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
