check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
