Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
