I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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