why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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