Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
