He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
