So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
