this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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