I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
