It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
