You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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