U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
