You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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