I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
whose parrot is this?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
