Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
