We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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