talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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