ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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