so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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