You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
