I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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