these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
