I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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