I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
