something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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