So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize