i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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