i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
