Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize