he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
