ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
50% drunk capacity currently
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
