As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
