How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
